After supper, we went to the evening prayer. Outside the sanctuary at each entrance stand people with large signs that say "silence", "stille" "silencio". As we step in the door, there are boxes which contain the songbooks, a sheet of scripture, and a sheet with a few new chants that haven't made it into the books yet. There are also stacks of rectangles of cloth, available for those (male and female) who may have uncovered shoulders, or midriffs, or thighs.
The sanctuary with all the rolldown gates up is cavernous. (check out a picture here: http://www.pontelandstmary.org.uk/taize.htm) But they have these gates and they are all down when we first enter. It is only when the areas closest in fill up that they open another section. There are no chairs. There are some prayer benches. Mostly you sit on the floor. As we settle in, we hear for the first time the bells of Taize, calling people to worship. They ring for a fair amount of time. Finally, as they die out, the singing begins. Up on the walls are illuminated signposts where the chant numbers are posted as we sing them. Some know the chants by heart, and start singing immediately. Others of us have to search in the book. We sing that night in German, in Latin, in French, in English...we sing the chants over and over, and they begin to sink down in you.
We chant, we hear a psalm and sing alleluia with it, we hear scripture and respond with an alleluia to that too, scripture read in several languages, printed in others. We hear the word, and we digest it in silence. 3500 of us, and it is pretty silent for that number. 8 minutes...
Then we come out of the silence and raise the intercessions. We pray, the brothers speaking the words, and the congregation singing the kyrie. And still the chanting goes on. We finish this prayer, and the brothers rise and exit through the front of the chapel. And then the most amazing thing:
the chanting continues.
The brother who has been leading and playing the piano leaves. And the chanting continues. The numbers stop flashing on the board and the chanting continues. Some of the brothers come back, and station themselves throughout the room for folks to come up and speak to them. And the chanting continues. The crowd thins, and the chanting continues.
These are young folk. Mostly in their early 20s. These are the young adults that organized religion say aren't interested in God. Or church. They have spent their own money to get here, they have taken their vacation time, and they have come to pray with a world community. I am awe-filled.
God bless us all.
Friday, September 26, 2008
Being Fed
Dinner is at 7 pm on Sunday pm. We settled in, and then walked up the hill to the tent where the "adults" are fed their meals and their bible study. We mill around, no one really being sure what or how this will be. Finally, 2 young women came out, and climbed up on chairs at the front of the crowd. One of them, Margarethella, asked for 10 people to volunteer to serve this evenings meal. They moved forward and accepted the plastic gloves. Then there was the call for 10 people to volunteer to wash up after. They were told the good news: they get to eat first. When 10 volunteers came forward (a little slower than the last group) then we sang a blessing, and the lines moved forward. You are handed a tray with a large bowl, a large spoon and a small bowl. The small bowl is for water. The large bowl that evening was filled with a scoop of lentil, potato and carrot stew with a little ham added. The rest of the meal included: a container labeled sweet white cheese which had some similarities to yogurt, a fruit that seemed a cross between an apple and a pear, a hunk of bread, and 2 sandwich cookies: large flat not too sweet biscuits with chocolate between. I didn't take pictures of the food, but a simliar meal may be seen here: http://picasaweb.google.com/magdalena.goryl/Taize06#5063424914684072914
There were lots of little flying bugs around, inside and out. No screens on the window, no screens anywhere that I could see.
There were lots of little flying bugs around, inside and out. No screens on the window, no screens anywhere that I could see.
Thursday, September 25, 2008
A Moment of God
In chapel today, I was in community. How do I explain this. I was in community. I mean, I get it, we are a community of God. Yada, yada, yada. But today, in chapel, something clicked. I looked around at all those faces, and said to myself, it really has nothing to do with me as an individual. It is about me being part of a whole. During the anthem, Heather sang a difficult solo. When she completed it, she did a little leap in the air. When she leapt, she carried all of us with her. We had formed ourselves into one body: the body of Christ. Even now, I am overwhelmed. God's grace and love, carried through the gathering.
Sunday, September 14, 2008
Taize at last
Sunday July 27
Hustled out of bed early, get breakfast and your bags to the street level, the buses come and we are loaded and on the road about 9 am. Two stops along the way, one included a lecture on proper behavior. The Bishop was awakened at 430 am by the desk clerks, who had received complaints about noise. It seems that some of the GNJ group were trying to sneak out of the hotel, or into each others rooms. Counselors did not get much sleep. It is unclear what the role of the Drewids is (are?) Are we supposed to step in, act as counselors? Or are we strictly hands off? We have had both intimated to us. It is a difficult edge to walk.
We arrived around 3-4 pm. Getting checked in was not easy. Sit here in this group, while Bob, the man with the money goes off to register us. Then Benjamin from Belgium invites us to sit there, and he orients us to life at Taize. Jeff is sent to the line to get meal tickets, and after a long wait is informed that no, Bob had to get them as he was the one who was paying. Bob did, but they were the wrong color, and would admit us to the under 30 feeding lines but not to the adult lines where they wanted us (and I wanted to be: 3000 under 30 and 500 over 30. No brainer.) Back to Bob and finally the correct ones were obtained. A spot of tea and cake, then off to our rooms.
We were told that we would be put into tents and barracks with people from all over the world, and that they might not speak English. This was not the arrangement. They placed the Drewids as follows:
All females under 30 (and their counselors, in the case of the GNJ group) in 2 tents.
All females over 30 (9 of us) in one barrack.
The two men over 30 in our group went into a barrack with 2 Italians and one German.
The under 30 men got split up, and placed with young men from other countries and/or the jersey group.
Bob and Margie were off in a family spot together.
So much for the mixing. Our dorm did get a woman from Rumania late this evening. She spoke no English, but had a friend who helped her settle in who did. So we learned her name (Lily) and where she was from.
Housing: the nine of us were in a barrack set up for 12. 6 bunk beds, 2 small desks, 2 small shelf units. One large window which opened and had no screen. But did have curtains. We were a little raised, so no one could look in the window. Which was good because it certainly was too hot to pull the curtains if you wanted to dress. Plain linoleum floor. The beds were a foam pad. You had better have remembered your bedding, because there was none here.
I will leave you here, as we settle in to these spartan surroundings, before we head up to our first meal at Taize.
Hustled out of bed early, get breakfast and your bags to the street level, the buses come and we are loaded and on the road about 9 am. Two stops along the way, one included a lecture on proper behavior. The Bishop was awakened at 430 am by the desk clerks, who had received complaints about noise. It seems that some of the GNJ group were trying to sneak out of the hotel, or into each others rooms. Counselors did not get much sleep. It is unclear what the role of the Drewids is (are?) Are we supposed to step in, act as counselors? Or are we strictly hands off? We have had both intimated to us. It is a difficult edge to walk.
We arrived around 3-4 pm. Getting checked in was not easy. Sit here in this group, while Bob, the man with the money goes off to register us. Then Benjamin from Belgium invites us to sit there, and he orients us to life at Taize. Jeff is sent to the line to get meal tickets, and after a long wait is informed that no, Bob had to get them as he was the one who was paying. Bob did, but they were the wrong color, and would admit us to the under 30 feeding lines but not to the adult lines where they wanted us (and I wanted to be: 3000 under 30 and 500 over 30. No brainer.) Back to Bob and finally the correct ones were obtained. A spot of tea and cake, then off to our rooms.
We were told that we would be put into tents and barracks with people from all over the world, and that they might not speak English. This was not the arrangement. They placed the Drewids as follows:
All females under 30 (and their counselors, in the case of the GNJ group) in 2 tents.
All females over 30 (9 of us) in one barrack.
The two men over 30 in our group went into a barrack with 2 Italians and one German.
The under 30 men got split up, and placed with young men from other countries and/or the jersey group.
Bob and Margie were off in a family spot together.
So much for the mixing. Our dorm did get a woman from Rumania late this evening. She spoke no English, but had a friend who helped her settle in who did. So we learned her name (Lily) and where she was from.
Housing: the nine of us were in a barrack set up for 12. 6 bunk beds, 2 small desks, 2 small shelf units. One large window which opened and had no screen. But did have curtains. We were a little raised, so no one could look in the window. Which was good because it certainly was too hot to pull the curtains if you wanted to dress. Plain linoleum floor. The beds were a foam pad. You had better have remembered your bedding, because there was none here.
I will leave you here, as we settle in to these spartan surroundings, before we head up to our first meal at Taize.
The End of the Day
Saturday July 26, continued.
Do you really need to ride the boat? We saw mostly the same sights that we saw on the bus. If not the same, then they might as well have been. Government buildings, churches, someone famous lived there, etc. The boat was supposed to leave at...say 6:20, and we were told there were no bathroom facilities in the waiting area, and would be none on the boat. It was 6 pm. Two of our women went off to find public facilities, and were not back when the boat left the dock at 6:15. I was sorry that they missed the boat, and unhappy with an owner who says one time, then changes it for another. Also with them for not just waiting it out. Turns out there was a bathroom on the boat. Unfair. But life is unfair. All the time. God never promised to be fair, only just. And I guess I should be thankful for that.
Anyway, we ate from street vendors on the way to the boat, then headed back to the hotel after. We gathered for worship for the first time as a full group, both the youth and counselors from Greater New Jersey and the Drewids. A number of us headed into the train station next door to the hotel to call home (I guess we all had a distrust of how much it would cost to call from the rooms). While there, I was able to track down a candy bar in a vending machine. There were ads for this candy throughout the station, and it looked good. It tasted even better. Here's a little info:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kinder_Bueno
Extra: Lillian the tour guide for the day recommended Ken Follett's "The Pillars of the Earth". It is an historical novel about the building of a cathedral in the 12th century. She felt it would help us to understand the building of Notre Dame.
Do you really need to ride the boat? We saw mostly the same sights that we saw on the bus. If not the same, then they might as well have been. Government buildings, churches, someone famous lived there, etc. The boat was supposed to leave at...say 6:20, and we were told there were no bathroom facilities in the waiting area, and would be none on the boat. It was 6 pm. Two of our women went off to find public facilities, and were not back when the boat left the dock at 6:15. I was sorry that they missed the boat, and unhappy with an owner who says one time, then changes it for another. Also with them for not just waiting it out. Turns out there was a bathroom on the boat. Unfair. But life is unfair. All the time. God never promised to be fair, only just. And I guess I should be thankful for that.
Anyway, we ate from street vendors on the way to the boat, then headed back to the hotel after. We gathered for worship for the first time as a full group, both the youth and counselors from Greater New Jersey and the Drewids. A number of us headed into the train station next door to the hotel to call home (I guess we all had a distrust of how much it would cost to call from the rooms). While there, I was able to track down a candy bar in a vending machine. There were ads for this candy throughout the station, and it looked good. It tasted even better. Here's a little info:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kinder_Bueno
Extra: Lillian the tour guide for the day recommended Ken Follett's "The Pillars of the Earth". It is an historical novel about the building of a cathedral in the 12th century. She felt it would help us to understand the building of Notre Dame.
Sunday, August 31, 2008
Notre-Dame
Back on the bus by 4 pm to go on to Notre Dame. There is more elaborate art within, but the sanctuary is darked.
Behind the altar a path leads around in a semi-circle. On the outside walls are chapels, confessionals, prayer rooms, statuary. On the inside are: ? More worship areas? Space for worship leaders to gather? I am not sure, nor sure of the terminology for the space. If I find anything, I will post further.
But on the inner wall, to the left of the altar as you face it, is a bas relief depicting the life of Jesus from the Annunciation through Jesus in the garden. I didn't go round the other side to see if the passion continued there, or was it the pulpit and the table in the center of the altar that told the rest of the story.
Studying this sculpture, I realized that a part of it depicted the killing of the innocent babies as the holy family fled to Egypt. Something we often leave out of our remembrances. From the very beginning there was blood. And violence. The world has never been very much in favor of what Jesus has to offer, and has wanted to kill it (and him) from the very beginning. Jesus and his gospel are a threat. If no one is very much threatened by most of us Christians these days, if no one is out gunning for us, perhaps it is because we are not very Christlike in our living.
Brian noted the footwashing in this sculpture seemed to come AFTER the meal. Jeff meditated on the message in that: we can only serve others after we have been fed, perhaps.
Vespers was about to start, people were gathering for worship, and there were ushers about, giving out bulletins. We spoke to one who said he was a church volunteer. The care of the building is paid for by the state, but the care of the worship and ministry is supported by the congregation. Interesting to talk about the similarities and differences in church when the state has a part in it.
We stayed for vespers. It was a sung service, and beautiful. There is something wonderful about these stone walls and floors, something that speaks of so many generations of prayer. Let's stay a few moments in silence, before we board the bus that will take us to the boat ride.
Behind the altar a path leads around in a semi-circle. On the outside walls are chapels, confessionals, prayer rooms, statuary. On the inside are: ? More worship areas? Space for worship leaders to gather? I am not sure, nor sure of the terminology for the space. If I find anything, I will post further.
But on the inner wall, to the left of the altar as you face it, is a bas relief depicting the life of Jesus from the Annunciation through Jesus in the garden. I didn't go round the other side to see if the passion continued there, or was it the pulpit and the table in the center of the altar that told the rest of the story.
Studying this sculpture, I realized that a part of it depicted the killing of the innocent babies as the holy family fled to Egypt. Something we often leave out of our remembrances. From the very beginning there was blood. And violence. The world has never been very much in favor of what Jesus has to offer, and has wanted to kill it (and him) from the very beginning. Jesus and his gospel are a threat. If no one is very much threatened by most of us Christians these days, if no one is out gunning for us, perhaps it is because we are not very Christlike in our living.
Brian noted the footwashing in this sculpture seemed to come AFTER the meal. Jeff meditated on the message in that: we can only serve others after we have been fed, perhaps.
Vespers was about to start, people were gathering for worship, and there were ushers about, giving out bulletins. We spoke to one who said he was a church volunteer. The care of the building is paid for by the state, but the care of the worship and ministry is supported by the congregation. Interesting to talk about the similarities and differences in church when the state has a part in it.
We stayed for vespers. It was a sung service, and beautiful. There is something wonderful about these stone walls and floors, something that speaks of so many generations of prayer. Let's stay a few moments in silence, before we board the bus that will take us to the boat ride.
Taizé service upcoming.
My poor pilgrims, I deserted you by the side of the road, waiting for the bus to Notre Dame. Life in Queens gets hectic, and I find it difficult living in two places at the same time. Three, if you count Staten Island.
Next Sunday, the 7th of September, we will have prayers in the style of Taizé at 6 pm in Astoria. We will be at Good Shepherd UMC, 30-44 Crescent St. I hope you can make it.
Good Shepherd does a 6 pm service on the first Sunday of every month. A different sort of worship gathering each month. A chance to worship God in different ways, with different words. Or no words at all.
Next Sunday, the 7th of September, we will have prayers in the style of Taizé at 6 pm in Astoria. We will be at Good Shepherd UMC, 30-44 Crescent St. I hope you can make it.
Good Shepherd does a 6 pm service on the first Sunday of every month. A different sort of worship gathering each month. A chance to worship God in different ways, with different words. Or no words at all.
Sacre-Coeur addendum
If you followed the link to my pictures, you will have seen what appears to be St. George besting the dragon on the top of the Basilica. I don't see mention of it anywhere though. So maybe it has some other meaning or symbolism that I cannot fathom.
Saturday, August 16, 2008
Basilique du Sacre-Coeur
Montmarte is an amazing place. Set at the top of a high hill there are many stairs to climb. Some parts of the staircase are broad, and many people sit on these stairs or on the lawns around them, eating, looking out over the city, conversing, or listening. There is much to listen to here. The street vendors (we were warned of those who would come and ask you to hold a finger out, and use it as a base to weave a bracelet. Of course they would hold you by these threads as they negotiated the price.), the performers, the people you came with, or the people nearby. Lots of noise. Some of the staircases up are narrow, stone steps or paths (to see this, go to Google maps, and put in "parvis du sacre coeur paris". Make sure you have it on satellite. Start at the lowest part of the green oasis south of the Basilique. The way up to that first balcony is around those two curved paths on either side. This leads you to the straight sided figure 8. Go up the middle or take the sides. When you get to the next plaza you must take the stairs to the side to go further: what is center is filled with water. More stairs and more stairs and then you are there.
Construction began in 1875 and was completed in 1914. It is not old by European measure: later we see churches 1000 years old. But old enough, and massive, and bearing the weight of the years of worship. We enter into silence. Tourist or not, this is a house of worship. You can feel it in the air. We whisper our way around the nave, looking at the artwork, intricate pieces all telling the story of God's work among the people. A bible written in pictures, stained glass, mosaic. We leave in silence.
As I came down the stairs, I saw that there were snails in the hills surrounding the stairs. I found an empty shell, and pocketed it. It will continue the journey with me, a reminder...
We gather at 4 pm to move on to our next stop: Notre Dame.
Construction began in 1875 and was completed in 1914. It is not old by European measure: later we see churches 1000 years old. But old enough, and massive, and bearing the weight of the years of worship. We enter into silence. Tourist or not, this is a house of worship. You can feel it in the air. We whisper our way around the nave, looking at the artwork, intricate pieces all telling the story of God's work among the people. A bible written in pictures, stained glass, mosaic. We leave in silence.
As I came down the stairs, I saw that there were snails in the hills surrounding the stairs. I found an empty shell, and pocketed it. It will continue the journey with me, a reminder...
We gather at 4 pm to move on to our next stop: Notre Dame.
Friday, August 15, 2008
Touring Paris, part 1
July 26, Saturday
Breakfast is the first time that I truly realize that we are in a foreign land. The food is different. The eggs are made with cream perhaps. Bacon, sausage, both are different than we find in the US. The bread is wonderful! In any language.
We tour the city of Paris today, first by bus with various stops, then by boat. This part of the journey seems to be about getting on and getting off buses, trains, boats...with a double check each time to see if we have all the people we started out with. I find myself counting the Drew 14 incessantly.
There are things that look familiar to me here (besides the big landmarks). One of the bridges seems to be one that I have seen in a movie. And the metal angels that are holding up the light in Sacre- Cœur are certainly the originals of some candle sticks owned by cousin Ann.
But the first real stop of the day is at the Louvre. With two tour guides (one for each bus) we are 75 strong, trying to move through the museum and (of much more concern to the staff) trying to stand still in one spot. As we try to gather ourselves, someone comes along and asks us to move. We finally divide into two groups, which helps, but still it is hard to stick with a group of forty. By the time we gathered everyone together, we were moved to the next exhibit. We saw many beautiful artworks, but too quickly to really take it in, to savor it. Venus de Milo, Winged Victory, Christ and Abbot Mena, Mona Lisa.
About the icon Christ and Abbot Mena. Jeff invited us to tell him what we saw as we looked at the icon. Halos, and a book and a scroll. The Abbot has feet, but Jesus does not. The position of the Abbot's fingers, and the fact that both of Jesus' hands are occupied. We discussed all of these things. This is one of the central icons at Taize. We sang a chant in this room. It was lovely.
You can read more about the icon here:
http://www.louvre.fr/
Click on the collection tab, then Curatorial Departments, Egyptian Antiquities, Selected Works. In the section labeled "Sort by period or theme" select Christian Egypt (Fourth-Twelfth Centuries AD). You can find the picture as number 4 among the 29 offerings started on this page.
We saw other icons, some of which had such light in them...
We ate at the Louvre, then moved on to MontMarte and Sacre- Cœur. But we will go there another day.
Peace, my pilgrims. Get a good night's sleep.
Breakfast is the first time that I truly realize that we are in a foreign land. The food is different. The eggs are made with cream perhaps. Bacon, sausage, both are different than we find in the US. The bread is wonderful! In any language.
We tour the city of Paris today, first by bus with various stops, then by boat. This part of the journey seems to be about getting on and getting off buses, trains, boats...with a double check each time to see if we have all the people we started out with. I find myself counting the Drew 14 incessantly.
There are things that look familiar to me here (besides the big landmarks). One of the bridges seems to be one that I have seen in a movie. And the metal angels that are holding up the light in Sacre- Cœur are certainly the originals of some candle sticks owned by cousin Ann.
But the first real stop of the day is at the Louvre. With two tour guides (one for each bus) we are 75 strong, trying to move through the museum and (of much more concern to the staff) trying to stand still in one spot. As we try to gather ourselves, someone comes along and asks us to move. We finally divide into two groups, which helps, but still it is hard to stick with a group of forty. By the time we gathered everyone together, we were moved to the next exhibit. We saw many beautiful artworks, but too quickly to really take it in, to savor it. Venus de Milo, Winged Victory, Christ and Abbot Mena, Mona Lisa.
About the icon Christ and Abbot Mena. Jeff invited us to tell him what we saw as we looked at the icon. Halos, and a book and a scroll. The Abbot has feet, but Jesus does not. The position of the Abbot's fingers, and the fact that both of Jesus' hands are occupied. We discussed all of these things. This is one of the central icons at Taize. We sang a chant in this room. It was lovely.
You can read more about the icon here:
http://www.louvre.fr/
Click on the collection tab, then Curatorial Departments, Egyptian Antiquities, Selected Works. In the section labeled "Sort by period or theme" select Christian Egypt (Fourth-Twelfth Centuries AD). You can find the picture as number 4 among the 29 offerings started on this page.
We saw other icons, some of which had such light in them...
We ate at the Louvre, then moved on to MontMarte and Sacre- Cœur. But we will go there another day.
Peace, my pilgrims. Get a good night's sleep.
Monday, August 11, 2008
The Pilgrimage Begins in Earnest
I am back, and did not make it to the Internet on the way. The opportunity was there, but I found myself reluctant to jump in while on the journey. And so I wrote my journal long hand these past days, and will post it here chronologically over the next few days. I will save my summing up for when we are all at the same place, at least in the hearing of my experiences.
And so, we start at JFK Airport in Queens. We all of us arrived safe, and on time. Sat on the plane about an hour before take-off. I have been advised that the best use of time on this 6 hour flight is to sleep. We leave about 8 pm from New York and will arrive about 830 am in Paris. Several of us find this something we cannot do. However, Air France has a remarkable choice of movies, all freely offered. I watch the Spiderwick Chronicles, which is very dark for what appeared in commercials as a children’s movie. Also watched the Kite Runner. This is not an easy movie. There is some violence, though the camera turns its eyes at the worst of it. A very thoughtful movie. I recommend it.
The labyrinth, a pattern made of contrasting stones built into the floor of the cathedral, is usually under the chairs that are set out for worship in this still active cathedral. On Fridays they move the chairs back so that people may walk the labyrinth.
There were a lot of people there, some of whom seemed oblivious to the labyrinth. Some seemed to discover it, mostly by noticing the people walking oddly, then looking down to see the pattern at their feet. This group would often decide why not, and start to walk. They usually got bored and gave up. To walk the labyrinth, there is only one path in, and one path out.
Noticed: who yields to whom? Is it a good thing to yield, or too passive? Kids dashed joyously through, not worried if they were doing it right. Maybe they are. Maybe we adults are wrong, staying within the lines. [this Sunday’s Gospel was about Peter stepping out of the boat, and faltering, nearly sinking. Was he doing it right? Maybe he should have just rushed joyously to the center: Jesus.]
We ate in Chartres before returning to Paris and the hotel.
I have a link to my photos here:http://flickr.com/photos/38783272@N00/sets/72157606673042670/
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
Final post before leaving
Tomorrow is the day. I have tried to post a couple of times, and keep hitting road blocks as I have had struggles with my internet connections. I hope I will get this through, as it will be my last chance to post until I return from Taize.
I am almost ready to start thinking about this. I have avoided it until now. I haven't thought much about leaving my husband Glenn home alone, until today. Who will know if he is home sick, or hurt? I asked him to make plans to call someone daily. After all, you never know.
And how many other things have I not even thought about, which will start tugging at me once I am in the air? Maybe I should have focused earlier. But earlier times were filled with earlier things. So many things to tend to, each of which must be given their full attention. And so here I am, down to the wire.
My prayers are with each of you. I pray that God will be with you, and guiding you in these days, just as I hope to be guided. Perhaps you can set aside a little time each day, say, half an hour or so. Imagine that it might be the same time as I am in worship, or bible study. Invite God into that time with you. Try not to struggle or question. Just sit comfortably, just as you might with a good friend. Relax, and don't work too hard at it. Listen: you just might hear God in the patter of rain or the chatter of frogs.
If I can find a computer, I will post while I am ther. Otherwise, see you when I get back.
Peace and blessings,
Bette
I am almost ready to start thinking about this. I have avoided it until now. I haven't thought much about leaving my husband Glenn home alone, until today. Who will know if he is home sick, or hurt? I asked him to make plans to call someone daily. After all, you never know.
And how many other things have I not even thought about, which will start tugging at me once I am in the air? Maybe I should have focused earlier. But earlier times were filled with earlier things. So many things to tend to, each of which must be given their full attention. And so here I am, down to the wire.
My prayers are with each of you. I pray that God will be with you, and guiding you in these days, just as I hope to be guided. Perhaps you can set aside a little time each day, say, half an hour or so. Imagine that it might be the same time as I am in worship, or bible study. Invite God into that time with you. Try not to struggle or question. Just sit comfortably, just as you might with a good friend. Relax, and don't work too hard at it. Listen: you just might hear God in the patter of rain or the chatter of frogs.
If I can find a computer, I will post while I am ther. Otherwise, see you when I get back.
Peace and blessings,
Bette
Thursday, July 17, 2008
Violence and Fear
I learned yesterday that there was a home invasion on Sunday in the boarding house next door to my home on Staten Island. Later in the day, a short bit after agreeing with my friend Karen to skip the walk we had hoped for, I heard that a man had been found bludgeoned to death in the park we frequent.
The new parsonage in Astoria has three entrances, each with metal gates and 2-3 locks. There are bars on the windows.
I found crime statistics on the internet. On a scale of 1-10 (1 being lowest), the national average for both violent crime and property crime is 3. For Astoria, it is 6 in each of these categories. For our neighborhood on Staten Island it is 6 in property crime, with a 7 for violent crime.
Even as I pray for the victims of these crimes, even as I pray for the offenders, there is the voice in my head that just keeps saying "not me, Lord. Don't let it be me." And last night as I lay in bed, unable to sleep, listening for noises outside, I wished I didn't live here. But where do you run to? It may happen less frequently elsewhere, but it still happens. Living in an area with a score of 2 or even 1 is no guarantee that you will be safe.
We could move. It might be difficult; and we would have to give up some things. We might be able to find that combination of safety, inexpensiveness and work that we would desire. But we have the resources to do it. The men and women in the boarding house don't have that luxury. The families in the apartment building across the street don't have any other choice. To abandon the neighborhood is to abandon them.
I suppose I will sleep better tonight. That's the way it usually works. And I will pray. Tonight's prayer is a sigh too deep for words.
God bless you all, and keep you safe this day.
The new parsonage in Astoria has three entrances, each with metal gates and 2-3 locks. There are bars on the windows.
I found crime statistics on the internet. On a scale of 1-10 (1 being lowest), the national average for both violent crime and property crime is 3. For Astoria, it is 6 in each of these categories. For our neighborhood on Staten Island it is 6 in property crime, with a 7 for violent crime.
Even as I pray for the victims of these crimes, even as I pray for the offenders, there is the voice in my head that just keeps saying "not me, Lord. Don't let it be me." And last night as I lay in bed, unable to sleep, listening for noises outside, I wished I didn't live here. But where do you run to? It may happen less frequently elsewhere, but it still happens. Living in an area with a score of 2 or even 1 is no guarantee that you will be safe.
We could move. It might be difficult; and we would have to give up some things. We might be able to find that combination of safety, inexpensiveness and work that we would desire. But we have the resources to do it. The men and women in the boarding house don't have that luxury. The families in the apartment building across the street don't have any other choice. To abandon the neighborhood is to abandon them.
I suppose I will sleep better tonight. That's the way it usually works. And I will pray. Tonight's prayer is a sigh too deep for words.
God bless you all, and keep you safe this day.
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
On Prayer
The impossibility of this modern life is to hold onto it. The days just seem to fly. I had started this blog in the hopes of a daily journal as I prepared for Taizé. But in the midst of my plans, life happened. Now I am just 8 days from leaving, and I have barely started.
Since my last post, I have been appointed to a new church, and had to pack up and move in a very short period of time. I had a good long relaxing vacation in the midst of it, though. I had the profound experience of companioning a family as they sat through heart surgery on their 16 month old daughter. And I have been praying.
I have a lovely picture in my head of what prayer for a pastor should look like. I should rise up early, enter the sanctuary in those cool moments before the sun has taken possession of the day. The light would filter through the windows, catching the dust motes (just a few!) and pulling me to the altar rail. There I would lose myself in communion with God, kneeling for an hour that would seem just a minute.
I have not seen this new church's sanctuary at dawn; I scarcely saw the previous one at that time either. In both of them it is not quite so picturesque as they both suffer from a worn out rug. Even if I did make it in, the dust motes would distract me into thinking about the work to be done.
Instead, prayer happens in my car as I am crawling through Brooklyn, it happens before meals or in the shower, during worship or after it, at the side of a casket at my first funeral in my new appointment, and in various rooms in a hospital with a young family. Wherever I am, God is there. Waiting for me to converse, to dialogue. To talk and to listen. It doesn't happen as often as either God or I would like it to happen, but it happens just the way it can right now. I worry about getting it right. I think God simply looks for it to happen.
Since my last post, I have been appointed to a new church, and had to pack up and move in a very short period of time. I had a good long relaxing vacation in the midst of it, though. I had the profound experience of companioning a family as they sat through heart surgery on their 16 month old daughter. And I have been praying.
I have a lovely picture in my head of what prayer for a pastor should look like. I should rise up early, enter the sanctuary in those cool moments before the sun has taken possession of the day. The light would filter through the windows, catching the dust motes (just a few!) and pulling me to the altar rail. There I would lose myself in communion with God, kneeling for an hour that would seem just a minute.
I have not seen this new church's sanctuary at dawn; I scarcely saw the previous one at that time either. In both of them it is not quite so picturesque as they both suffer from a worn out rug. Even if I did make it in, the dust motes would distract me into thinking about the work to be done.
Instead, prayer happens in my car as I am crawling through Brooklyn, it happens before meals or in the shower, during worship or after it, at the side of a casket at my first funeral in my new appointment, and in various rooms in a hospital with a young family. Wherever I am, God is there. Waiting for me to converse, to dialogue. To talk and to listen. It doesn't happen as often as either God or I would like it to happen, but it happens just the way it can right now. I worry about getting it right. I think God simply looks for it to happen.
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
Death, and love
This is obviously not a daily journal. There are so many things that I do daily that really could be left undone. Why is it so hard to add the things that are better for us?
I will be lenient with myself. A full work weekend leaves my mind drained, sometimes. Today I led a funeral service. What words are there for a family with a big gaping hole now torn in their lives? None, really, except to say that even though it doesn't feel like it, you are not alone. You eventually find the parameters of the hole, and you learn how to live with it. Some day you may be able to navigate around it easily, hardly noticing it anymore. But it remains. The only way to avoid the pain of loss is to never allow yourself to feel the joy of love. What a poor trade that would be.
Pray this night for those who mourn. Double your brownie points: call up the mourner and ask if you can pray with them. You just might be the voice of God for them at this moment.
I will be lenient with myself. A full work weekend leaves my mind drained, sometimes. Today I led a funeral service. What words are there for a family with a big gaping hole now torn in their lives? None, really, except to say that even though it doesn't feel like it, you are not alone. You eventually find the parameters of the hole, and you learn how to live with it. Some day you may be able to navigate around it easily, hardly noticing it anymore. But it remains. The only way to avoid the pain of loss is to never allow yourself to feel the joy of love. What a poor trade that would be.
Pray this night for those who mourn. Double your brownie points: call up the mourner and ask if you can pray with them. You just might be the voice of God for them at this moment.
Thursday, May 22, 2008
Don't Worry, Be Happy
I have just finished putting together Sunday's worship service. The gospel lesson is Matthew 6:24-34, the heart of which is don't worry.
But today I have received my statement from Drew, showing an additional sum of money for this cross-cultural trip that I had not expected. As the cost of this time in seminary keeps mounting, as the cost of gasoline keeps mounting, as the cost of food in this world keeps mounting, how do I not worry? My heart wants to claim that Jesus just didn't understand--that it is a lot more complicated today. But I know that isn't really true. Since we first left the garden, we have struggled to take care of the essentials, and worried there wouldn't be enough. As a people, we have had a hard time trusting God. Think of the Israelites in the desert. Manna enough for the day, but still there were people who tried to save some for tomorrow. I bet they tried more than once.
Lord, you have not failed me yet. Help me to trust that you will continue to provide all that I need. And help me to recognize the difference between need and want.
But today I have received my statement from Drew, showing an additional sum of money for this cross-cultural trip that I had not expected. As the cost of this time in seminary keeps mounting, as the cost of gasoline keeps mounting, as the cost of food in this world keeps mounting, how do I not worry? My heart wants to claim that Jesus just didn't understand--that it is a lot more complicated today. But I know that isn't really true. Since we first left the garden, we have struggled to take care of the essentials, and worried there wouldn't be enough. As a people, we have had a hard time trusting God. Think of the Israelites in the desert. Manna enough for the day, but still there were people who tried to save some for tomorrow. I bet they tried more than once.
Lord, you have not failed me yet. Help me to trust that you will continue to provide all that I need. And help me to recognize the difference between need and want.
Monday, May 19, 2008
Books to Read on the Way
As I work the the assigned books, I will add them to the list at the left. Others may join the list too. I hope to hear about other books that have helped people on this journey to God.
Life, baptisms, and saying goodbye.
It was a busy weekend, with a triple baptism at the morning worship, followed by lunch and fellowship and then a memorial to celebrate the life and ministry of a church member who died about a year ago. In the midst of school, regular church doings, and the Archives, I had never verified with the family, and so they were surprised to hear from me Saturday. But the daughters came, and even reached their mom's dearest friend.
I don't know how the rush and confusion affected them--they were gracious and forgiving to me. It seemed a good service, and I have hopes that it was healing for many who came.
Baptisms and memorials. Both there and in between...we try to walk with God.
67 days to the flight to Taizé. I am not sure what my prayer is tonight. Maybe just for a good night's rest, and a chance to not work for a day.
I don't know how the rush and confusion affected them--they were gracious and forgiving to me. It seemed a good service, and I have hopes that it was healing for many who came.
Baptisms and memorials. Both there and in between...we try to walk with God.
67 days to the flight to Taizé. I am not sure what my prayer is tonight. Maybe just for a good night's rest, and a chance to not work for a day.
Saturday, May 17, 2008
And So We Begin
When is blog not a blog? When it is a journal, of course. As preparation for the trip to Taizé, we are to journal. Thought I would do it here, and invite others to come and take this journey with me.
So, having gotten this just set up, I will look about for where to tell you more about myself, and then I will come back and post. Meanwhile you might want to visit the Taizé site.
http://taize.fr/en
So, having gotten this just set up, I will look about for where to tell you more about myself, and then I will come back and post. Meanwhile you might want to visit the Taizé site.
http://taize.fr/en
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